While the holiday season is a fun and enjoyable time for most, past experiences or recent passings in the family can make it a difficult one for others. For them, the joy and safety that holiday traditions and rituals often provide can be accompanied by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. The change in the weather and the loss of light brought on by the end of daylight saving time can combine to make things worse.
Here are 5 tips we’ve put together for people managing grief and anxiety around the holidays:
1. Set reasonable expectations for yourself.
Not everyone experiences grief in the same way, so it’s important to be patient with yourself and others. Don’t expect too much too soon. If you’ve struggled or are struggling with unresolved feelings, give yourself time, understand that grief is a process that’s unique to you, and know that you’re not alone.
2. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up.
Allow yourself space to acknowledge any losses, despair, or hurt you are feeling. Don’t pretend your feelings don’t matter—they do. And they will do more harm to your well-being if you don’t acknowledge they exist.
3. Surround yourself with people you can lean on for support when you need it.
Your instinct may be to isolate yourself from others. Try not to. Social connection has great healing power. Share your feelings with others who care about you—make it “okay” for you and for them to talk about what you’re going through or the person who’s no longer there.
4. Start a new tradition that fits your current situation.
Create a special new ritual that can allow you to something positive or honor the person who’s no longer there. Light a special candle or offer a silent or spoken tribute to this person. Choose a special recipe that was always a favorite of theirs and prepare it each year. These activities help you create memorable new traditions, mark the joy that person brought to you, and let you honor their memory in meaningful ways.
5. Look after yourself.
Be sure to keep your personal health and safety top of mind. Don’t turn to unhealthy or self-soothing behaviors like alcohol, overeating, or risk-taking. Eat right and exercise. Get outside in the light and breathe the fresh air. Stay connected to family and friends. And if you feel overwhelmed and unable to manage on your own, seek professional help.
If this holiday season is a time of grief, pain, or anxiety, you’re not alone. And you can still find peace and comfort in both familiar and new rituals and traditions. Just set realistic expectations, acknowledge and express your feelings, stay connected, and stay healthy. There is a very near future where you can feel true happiness while still honoring the difficulties of the past. And those who remain and care about you will be there to share and enjoy it with you.
Mount Carmel provides acute inpatient behavioral healthcare services for adults 18 and older. Click here for more information.